a salute to my favorite discontinued treats

every citizen of planet earth has, at some point or another, experienced the same heartbeak. the greatest heartbreak of all, in fact.

the heartbreak of discovering that a special food you've loved and cherished has been... discontinued. slain. cut down in it's prime.

this page is a salute to my favorite discontinued snacks & treats that will live forever on in my heart & in my memories but regreattably not in my stomach.

oh, toft's cake batter ice cream, how dearly i miss you.

this loss was the first that i recall hitting me so deeply. when i was a child, i lived near an ice cream shop in the summer that served this particular brand & flavor. like clockwork i would come in every weekend and order the same thing, a double scoop of cake batter in a waffle cone. this continued for nearly an entire decade. eventually the owner would recongize me & my family when we entered and would have my cone ready for me by the time i made it to the counter.

it was a good ice cream. the best ice cream.

you might say, what makes toft's cake batter ice cream different than other cake batter ice creams? surely others can compare?

to this, i woulld first ask, how dare you? second, i was say that many other cake batter ice creams can only dream to compare to this particular recipe. the people at toft's got it right. not only did it have bits of real yellow cake, it had caverns of delicious chocolate-y fudge. miraculously, the ice cream itself wasn't incredibly sweet, as i feel a lot of cake-related flavors are. the cake bits & chocolate balanced it out to perfection.

one year, when i returned home from college for the summer, i walked to my favorite ice cream store, and when i got in line i could see the owner's face fall. when i reached the counter, he gently broke the news to me that toft's had discontinued cake batter. the world's best flavor was no more.

r.i.p. cake batter. i miss you.

the walmart tuxedo cake was a staple of my college existence.

deliciously crafted with 5 mouthwatering layers, priced at around $8, and large enough to be eaten in pieces over the course of the few days, it was my ultimate little treat to myself.

I started noticing that thde tuxedo cake was in less and less stock at my college walmart around 2019. It was scarce, but still around. Eventually it began dwindling. The last time that I located one was in the late fall of 2020 when I was in the middle of nowhere USA on a 30 day roadtrip. I devoured it in with my 2 companions in a cheap, rundown, and iconic motel.

it was the last time i ever saw one on walmart's shelves.

out of habit, i wander over to the bakery section every time i'm in a walmart, hoping to spot just one more.

i never do, but a part of me hopes that one day, just ONE DAY, i will.

now this, THIS was THE cookie.

i love a good chocolate chip cookie. i love some good brownies. you know what's better than either of those things? a cookie with a brownie INSIDE. yeah, it's as good as it sounds.

the chips ahoy brownie cookie was superior to similar products becuase the cookie maintained a chewy exterior that complemented perfectly with the brownie.

to my horror, i saw these bad boys disapearing from shelves over the past few years. I honestly don't think i've seen a box in person since 2020/2021, but with no news alerts on the subject i kept up hope.

after ages of silence, in fall 2023 chips ahoy finally confirmed that they had discontinued the cookie for good.

the worst part of this ordeal is that chips ahoy had continued to produce these hersey's combination cookies, which visually look very similar with the color interior. however, they simply dont compare and never shall.

this is an age old classic, but it had to be said.

i miss the orignal blue scooby doo gummies so damn bad.

they changed the colors to use less articial coloring/flavoring. but honestly? i would rather have the sick ass blue gummies. i think i'm willing to make that sacrifice.